Subject: Re: Railroad-related Humor
From: elw4@po.CWRU.edu (Evan Werkema)

In article <Pine.3.89.9504072151.B17731-0100000@elwha.evergreen.edu> Donovan Gray <grayd@ELWHA.EVERGREEN.EDU> writes:

>Thought for another thread.  Anyone know good stories or jokes about
>railroads?  Such as:

>On the Great Western Railway there was a Roadmaster named Mike Flanigan.
>As Roadmasters do, Mike would head out whenever there was a derailment,
>supervise the cleanup, and wire in a report to headquarters covering the
>details of the event and its resolution.

>After one particularly nasty accident, Mike laid out the entire situation
>in his report, wired in by a not particularly happy telegrapher
>unimpressed with Mike's attention to detail.  Or that of headquarters,
>who wired back for Mike to keep to the essentials and forego the nuance.

>A few weeks later, the Great Western's top manifest dropped a dozen cars
>on the ground, and Mike went out to investigate, and wired in his report,
>which read:

>"Off again, on again."

>- Flanigan

  Actually, this sounds like a poem by Liam O'Flaherty (I hope that's the 
spelling) called "Finnegan to Flanigan" which goes (from memory) something 
like this:

  Superintindent was Flanigan
  Boss av the siction was Finnegan
  Whenever the k'yars got off'n the thrack
  And muddled things up at bit
  ta the Divil and back.
  Finnegan writ it ter Flanigan
  After the wrik was all on-agin
  That is, this Finnegan
  repoorted ter Flanigan

  The furst time Finnegan writ ter Flanigan
  He writted tin pages, did Finnegan!
  An'  he tol jist how the smash occurred
  In many a tejous, blunderin' word
  Did this Finnegan writ to Flanigan
  after the k'yars had gone on-agin.
  That is how Finnegan
  Repoorted ter Flanigan

  Now, Flanigan knowed more than Finnegan
  He had more ijucation, had Flanigan.
  And it wore him clain and competely out
  To tell what Finnegan writ about
  In his repoortings to Musther Flanigan.
  So he writted back ter Finnegan and said
  "Don't do sech a sin agin!
   Make 'em brief Finnegan!"

  When Finnegan got this from Flanigan
  He blushed rosy rid, did Finnegan.
  And he said "I'll gamble a whole month's pa-ay,
  Twill be minny and minny a da-ay
  before Superintindent (that's Flanigan)
  gets a whack at this very same sin agin!
  From Finnegan to Flanigan, 
  Repoorts won't be long again!"

  Waaan day.  On the section 'av Finnegan
  On the road superintinded bi Flanigan,
  A rail gave way on a bit of a cyurve
  and some k'yars went off as they made the swurve.
  "Nobody's hurted," says Finnegan
  "But repoorts must be made ter Flanigan!"
  And he smiled at McGorigan, as married a Finnegan
  He was shantyin' thin, was Finnegan, 
  as minny a railroader's bin agin.
  And the shmoky ol' lamp was burnin' bright
  in Finnegan's shanty all that night.
  Bilin' doan his repoort, was Finnegan.
  And he writted this here:
  "Musther Flanigan,
     Off-agin, on-agin, gone-agin, 
                   Finnegan."  

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--Evan Werkema--elw4@po.cwru.edu--"Ship and Travel Santa Fe...All the Way!"--